Edinburgh’s best…takeaways

The best places to get battered when the chips are down – as recommended by comedians…

Hula Juice Bar Edinbrugh

We asked over 170 comedians and people from the comedy industry what their favourite places were in Edinburgh, and got back so many fantastic responses that we turned it into a book. The following are select extracts, but you can pick up the book on Amazon, download the ebook or find out more about the title and who’s in it.


The Baked Potato Shop

The Baked Potato Shop, 56 Cockburn St, EH1 1PB. 0131 225 7572. Festival hours daily 11am-11pm.

It’s all veggie, but you would hardly notice. Their portions are f-off massive, so even a meat-eating ‘I don’t cry, I’m not a woman’ beefcake will leave with his belly satisfied and balls intact. Their chilli will knock your orthopedic sandals off. I personally recommend going healthy and adding avocado, but you can also do an old school butter, beans and cheese. Aisling Bea


Cafe Piccante

Cafe Piccante, 19 Broughton St, 0131 478 7884, cafepiccante.com. Sun-Thu 4pm-3am, Fri & Sat 4pm-4am.

The range is bewildering so normally I stick to old favourites: fish, chips and beer. Better than fish and chips, to the tune of beer. That’s a balanced lunch, let alone a snack. Chips with cheese and gravy. Sounds simple. Could anybody make it? I’m not sure. The simplest ingredients transcend to a higher level when nuanced by experts in their field. Richard Vranch


The Pie Maker

38 South Bridge, EH1 1LL. 0131 558 1728, thepiemaker.co.uk. Festival opening times Mon-Thu 9am-2am, Fri & Sat 9am-3am, Sun 10am-midnight.

During my first Edinburgh I did a package show with a few other comics, including Tom Rosenthal, to whom I am eternally grateful for introducing me to the Pie Maker. He would come in nearly every day with a pie for breakfast, which I thought was just plain weird until one day I was so curious to see what the big deal was that I had one too and became a pie-for-breakfast man myself. Rob Beckett



Rapido, 77-79 Broughton St, EH1 3RJ. 0131 556 2041, rapidocaffe.co.uk. Daily 4.30pm- 1am. 

it seems to do pretty much everything and anything. You could probably ask for a manatee burger and they would at least point you in the right direction. Colin Hoult


Hula Juice Bar

Hula, 103-105 West Bow, EH1 2JP. 0131 220 1121, hulajuicebar.co.uk. Daily 8am – late.

Mae Martin recommended Hula to me as she said the staff were great: she fancied one of the waitresses and said another looked like a white Rihanna. As a result, she spent thousands there over the course of the month. Make sure you ask for extra carrot and spinach if they have it, one of those organic immune booster shots, extra multi-vitamins (what does that even mean?), antioxidants and anything else they have that doesn’t taste very nice. Amy Hoggart

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